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August 23, 2015

All in the Family

Preacher: Pastor Braun Campbell Series: Life Together Category: Biblical Scripture: Ephesians 5:22–6:4

The Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost
St. John's Lutheran Church, Alexandria, VA
Ephesians 5:22–6:4

“Life Together: All in the Family”

I usually do OK when it comes to keeping tabs on what’s going on in the world, particularly when it comes to technology. Sometimes, though, I don’t feel too bad about being out-of-the-loop with how people are putting that tech to use. Case in point: the past couple of weeks. So… there’s a website that’s designed specifically for married people who might want to have an adulterous affair. And while that was news to me, this website’s been around since 2001. What’s caught the public’s attention, though, is the report that hackers recently stole the customer data of the 32 million user accounts used to access this “service” and have posted it online.

I suppose this shouldn’t come as a surprise – neither the hacking nor the fact that such a site exists in the first place – because the world around us doesn’t really have a clear picture of what marriage is supposed to be. Is it about happiness, how you feel about someone right now? Is it about commitment, having a partner for the long haul? Or is it about “wuv, twue wuv” as some have proclaimed? If we’re looking to the culture around us to learn what marriage is supposed to be instead of turning to the One who created marriage, it’s no wonder that people are lost and adrift, making the rules up as they go. And we are part of the problem.

We don’t speak enough about marriage in the Church. When was the last time that you heard a sermon about marriage outside of a wedding service? And how often do you get to attend a Christian wedding, at that? Marriage isn’t a topic that usually comes up in the regular scripture readings we have from week to week, so preachers who want to be faithful to the text before us don’t go looking to wedge the subject in where it’s not meant to be. But here it is today, and thanks be to God for that! We all need to hear this message of God’s word on what marriage and family are meant to be, because they’re huge parts of our life together, not just as Christians, but as human beings.

Today’s text from Ephesians 5 speaks to everybody who is part of a family. That includes you. If you’re married or single, a husband or a wife, a parent or a child, there’s something here for you to hear today.

Instead of defining marriage by what it isn’t, let’s look at God’s design for marriage and for our relationships as families. As we move forward, though, it’s vitally important that we keep what we’ve heard over the past few weeks in mind. Take a look back through the message we’ve been hearing in Ephesians up to this point (you can check out previous weeks’ sermons online), and you’ll see that our relationships as family follow out from what we’ve seen so far. Walking in love as children of light and imitators of God, Christian families find the root of life together in Christ – and that can look really different from what the world around us expects.

One of the greatest stumbling points that people today have with God’s design for marriage comes from an overly-quick reading of Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” That’s probably not a first-choice verse for most marriage ceremonies these days, in part because it is often fundamentally understood.

When people hear the word “submit” today, it usually carries the connotation of having to admit that you’re weaker than another party, that you’re being forced or coerced into obedience. That’s not the kind of relationship that God has planned for His people, especially husbands and wives! Rather, submission here is a gift given by the wife to the husband. The wife holds her will back, honoring her husband: not because she is being forced to do so but because she is worshiping God through this act of self-giving love and service. Looking back at Ephesians 5:21, which immediately precedes this passage, you’ll see that all Christians are called to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” as part of our life together in the light. We are each called to restrain our self-interest out of love for each other as for Christ. But in lest you might think that husbands are being shown some favoritism here, keep reading.

Husbands don’t get a free pass from God: far from it! If anything, they’re given a profound responsibility and awesome task. The very next instruction Paul communicates is “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25). In fact, the majority of this passage on the marriage relationship here in Ephesians is devoted to showing husbands what it means to love their wives. Men and boys, pay special attention: God is calling you to love your wife even as Jesus loved the Church. How did Jesus do that? Look to the cross. Jesus died for the Church. As a husband, you are to deny your own self-interest and put the care of your wife and your family first and foremost in life. Take care of your wife as if you were taking care of your own body, as Paul says (or even better), for by doing so you benefit both your wife and yourself in your marriage. And should it be necessary, it is your calling to lay down your life in self-giving love and service to protect your family. Look to reflect Christ in everything that you say and do as a husband – and as a father, if you’re also blessed with that vocation.

Children – and we are all children with respect to our parents – God has instruction for your relationships in the family, too. Honor your parents and obey their instruction as it reflects God’s care and instruction for you. Even if you’ve got a bad parent, respect the role that God entrusted to them in your life – even if they don’t. That’s an especially tough thing to do when a parent neglects their responsibly and puts their own interest before their child’s; however, as Paul notes, God remembers the child who honors their parent. For your part, parents – especially fathers – you are to show your children the grace and love that your heavenly Father has shown you as you raise them up. Exercise patience in teaching them and instilling discipline in them, acting unselfishly and caringly in all things. You are God’s instrument to deliver care and protection to those placed under you.

What is marriage? Simply put, it reflects the relationship of Christ with the Church. Marriage is meant to proclaim the good news of Jesus’ self-giving love for all people. As imitators of God with Christ as our template, we’ve been called to share life together in mutual love and humble service, something which is especially true for the Christian family.

Marriage and family are truly gifts from God. They don’t always look to be gifts, though, as we fall short in our roles. Husbands regularly fail to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, and wives don’t always to honor and respect their husbands. Children disobey their parents and rebel against their authority. In these ways and more, our marriages and our families frequently fall short. It’s impossible to have a marriage or a family as it’s meant to be outside of Christ. Husbands, wives, and children, we all must depend on God’s forgiveness and fortification. In this way, too, our marriages reflect the relationship of Christ and the Church as we look to our Lord who gives what we most need.

Living life together as imitators of Christ in mutual love and humble service, your marriage and your family will be different than those lived outside of Christ. If a wife sees her husband living out his calling to selflessly care for her and their family in a Christ-like way, how much easier is it for her to gladly submit herself to him? If a child sees God lovingly caring for them through their parents, how will that shape their willing obedience to parental authority? If a parent remember the great responsibility and undeserved gift that God has given them in their children, how can that not shape the way in which they raise them up?

In the home that is built with Christ as its center – not just as the template for our relationships but as Lord – marriage and family become what they are meant to be: means through which God’s self-giving love is delivered to us and the people around us. Whatever else may come, where family lives life together in mutual love and humble service in Christ, that home is indeed blessed.

Amen.

other sermons in this series

Aug 30

2015

Fight the Good Fight

Preacher: Rev. Jack Meehan Scripture: Ephesians 6:10–6:20 Series: Life Together

Aug 16

2015

Walking in Love

Preacher: Rev. Jack Meehan Scripture: Ephesians 5:6–5:21 Series: Life Together

Aug 9

2015

The New Life

Preacher: Pastor Braun Campbell Scripture: Ephesians 4:17–5:2 Series: Life Together